Shannon's Testimony

Growing up, I had a tender place in my heart for the Lord and the things of the Lord. I had a loving home. We went to church every week, but I did not have an assurance of my salvation, and I lacked biblical knowledge.

When I was 16 years old, a group of people came to our church sharing their testimonies about how the Lord changed their lives and brought them out of lifestyles of drugs, alcohol, and other "big" sins. I was touched by their testimonies, but I was sad because I didn’t think that I had a testimony. I began to cry and tell some of these people that I hadn’t done any really bad things and so I didn’t think I had a testimony. I was told to be glad that I had not made their mistakes.

Although they were trying to make me feel better, I needed to hear the truth. In John 8:31-32 Jesus says, “If you continue in my word, then you are my disciples indeed, and you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” I needed to know that my “heart was deceitful and wicked above all things,” as told in Jeremiah 17:9, and that “there is none righteous, no not one,” as stated in Romans 3:10. You see, until I understood my sinful condition and that I deserved punishment and judgment for my own sins against God, I could not appreciate what the Lord Jesus had done for me in suffering and dying on the cross for all of my sins. Jesus said in Matthew 9:13 “For I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance.” Soon after I talked with these people, I started to remember the bad things I had done and then I felt guilty that I told them otherwise. In time I tried to forget my worries.

A couple of years later, I went to college and met my husband, Chris. Shortly after graduation, the Lord saved Chris. I was really excited about what happened to Chris, though I didn’t appreciate the times when I felt Chris was getting preachy with me. Now I know he was just trying to encourage me in the Lord, but in my self-righteousness I felt intimidated. We got married and were really involved in our church. I felt I was working hard for the Lord and hoped that this would make up for the bad things in my life.

In 1997, a friend invited me to join Bible Study Fellowship International. It was a huge blessing! Throughout the study of Israel and the Minor Prophets, my heart was broken as the Lord revealed to me my sinful condition. The passage of scripture that stands out from that time is in Malachi 1:6-8. The Lord tells the priests that they despise His name. We were asked how we have despised the name of the Lord. Well, I was offended by and did not understand this question. The next week during the lecture, our teaching leader, Cyndi Hendrix, explained how this passage applied to our lives. I then understood I was just as guilty as unfaithful Israel. A few of the sins I was convicted of were giving God my leftover time, caring more about what people think than what God thinks, going my own way and not seeking His will.

Throughout this study, I was awakened by the Word of God to see how grievous my sin was and how incredibly patient and gracious God has been to me. I came to understand that I can rest in God’s salvation, knowing that it is “not by works of righteousness that we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us (Titus 3:5).” I repented of my sins and soon after the Lord brought me to the place of surrendering my will to Him. I John 1:9 states “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

I love and thank the Lord for all He has done for me. When I face stressful situations, the inner peace I now have with God sees me through each day, giving me hope. I have been learning to trust and obey Him even when it is difficult. At times I am painfully aware of how I fall short of the glory of God. Just last week I told Chris I felt too unworthy to share my testimony tonight. He said to me, “Shannon isn’t that what our testimonies are about?” This lead me once again to turn my eyes upon Jesus and to think on His grace and mercy. Philippians 2:13 states, “for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure.” and Philippians 1:6 says “He who began a good work in you, will be able to complete it.”