A Fisherman's Confession

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins and to cleanse us of all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9).  I lean hard on that verse.  No matter how hard I try, I cannot keep from sinning in thought, word, and deed.  Each day, the more I realize how sinful I really am and the more I think about what Jesus did for me when He died on the cross to bear the full weight of God's righteous judgment on my behalf so that I might receive the full riches of God's immeasurable mercy (2 Cor. 5:21), it causes me to love Him more and more.  It causes me to want to do more for Him and spread His fame far and wide.  Yet I sin.

I recall the day of my salvation in the Summer of 1989.  I'll never forget the freedom I felt when the Truth of salvation by God's grace and mercy alone hit home in my heart.  Since then, my desire has been for others to know the life-changing power of the gospel, to follow Jesus, and learn to fish for men (Matt. 4:19). 

But I confess that even in my most "religious" or "spiritual" moments, even in those times of "service" for the Lord, sharing the gospel, praying, teaching, or serving in some other capacity, I recognize all too painfully how steeped I am in original sin and an ever-present sin nature resident within my flesh.  It grieves me.

Isaiah writes, "All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags" (Isaiah 64:6).  Jeremiah echoes similarly that “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked . . . ." (Jeremiah 17:9).   When a young man asked Jesus the way to eternal life and called Jesus "Good Master," even Jesus corrected the young man's understanding of what it means to be "good" by saying:  "Why do you call me good?  No one is good—except God alone" (Mk. 10:18).

My motives are often selfish.  My motives are often self-glorifying.  Though I strive to live for the Lord, I live for me.  Though I strive to live to bring glory to God, I often move with mixed motive to bring glory to myself.  What a wretch!  "I am the Lord; that is my name; my glory I give to no other . . . ." (Is. 42:8)

Even in publishing this blog, I find my motives are mixed.  To be sure, I write to encourage others.  I write to inspire others to learn to share the gospel in order to glorify God, spread His fame abroad, and lead others to the sole giver of Life.  But I struggle with wrong motives, too.

I confess those today.  And I lean hard on a gracious, loving, and merciful God and Savior (Tit. 3:5).  I cast myself moment by moment into the Sea of His Forgetfulness and His Forgiveness and His Grace.  What a Savior!!!  Thank you, Lord, for loving me!  Thank you Lord that I can know and do know that I am saved because of what you've done for me (1 John 5:11-13).